Thursday, August 28, 2025

 Teacher Tired…Another School Shooting Tired


The quote, “There’s no tired like teacher tired,” refers to the overwhelming exhaustion of educators as they try to balance lesson planning, new learning initiatives, classroom management, and parent communication, all the while trying to meet the needs of each and every student.

The teacher tired memes change with the seasons:

Beginning of the year teacher tired.

End of the year teacher tired.

Christmas break teacher tired. 

Endless state testing teacher tired.


But the tired that teachers should never have been expected to experience is, “Another school shooting teacher tired.”


Just writing those words brings on the tears, heartbreak, and gut-wrenching stomachache that I know millions of teachers are experiencing tonight. Teachers that are lying awake, turning over and over in their minds what those children at Annunciation Catholic School in Minnesota must have experienced yesterday. The sorrow for yet another school, another group of students, teachers, and parents who are experiencing their worst nightmare. A nightmare that never should have happened. Not only was it another school shooting, but it happened at the place where those babies should have been protected the most, at their first school Mass of the year. 


The words, “another school shooting” hurt enough. But now add to it, “The shooter opened fire through the windows of a church”, “We hid under the pew”, and “We were praying and praying!” You just can’t comprehend this senseless act of violence against innocent children. Children who were in church. 


It’s the beginning of a new school year, so teachers, staff, and students are practicing their Safety Drills. At our school this week, we’ve practiced our fire drill and tornado drill. Tomorrow is supposed to be our lockdown drill. My stomach already hurts with the thought of even going through the motions of ushering my students into our “safe” zone in the classroom. Of making sure the door is locked and secured with a chair, that the lights are off, and the children absolutely still and silent. That I’ll reassure them that it is just a drill. That I’ll smile at them so they know it’s ok. All the while praying that we never ever have to be in that “safe” zone for real.


Yes, we’ll practice that drill tomorrow, because our children need to know how to hide from an intruder. How to be safe, at a place where they should already be safe. To know that their teachers will do everything in their powers to keep them safe at school.


Next week, when we go to Mass, their little faces will turn to the teachers again looking for that reassurance of safety. Looking for safety in a sacred place where they have always been told they are safe and loved. They’ll see the extra protection at a place that should not need it. They’ll know to hide under those pews that should only be used for worship. They’ll see their teachers’ smiles and nods of reassurance. Hopefully it will make them feel safe so they can celebrate Mass, sing, and pray. Because prayer may be the best answer to “another school shooting tired.”


 Our government leaders and politicians will throw around phrases such as tragic violence and unspeakable acts of evil. Then they’ll mention gun control and mental health over the next few days and weeks. But history shows that nothing much changes after each school shooting. It's in the forefront of everyone’s thoughts, on the headlines of the news, and yet with time it fades. Until here we are again with “another school shooting.”  


If we can’t call on our leaders to fix the problem, maybe we should be calling on God. Calling on Him to give comfort to all those affected by these school shootings. Calling on Him to help our leaders find solutions to end this violence. Calling on Him to help us keep our children safe.


So tonight, I’ll pray. I’ll pray to God to send comfort, love, and peace to the Annunciation School and Church Community in Minneapolis. I’ll pray to St. Michael the Archangel to protect and defend us. I’ll pray the Memorare to invoke the intercessions of our Blessed Virgin Mary to answer our prayers, and I’ll pray to the Sacred Heart of Jesus to protect us in the midst of danger.

I invite you to pray as well. 





Saturday, May 7, 2022

Just Like Her Memories


 Just Like Her Memories

Here and Gone. 

She barely catches a glimpse. 

A lone shell revealed by the receding waves. 

For a fleeting moment, its beauty shines. 

Then in a flash whisked away by the sea. 

Vanishing as fingertips brush the surface. 

Almost within her grasp. 

Here. Then Gone. 


Here and Gone. 

She waits for the water to settle. 

Knowing a treasure is hiding below. 

There! Right within reach. 

Racing against the waves, she plunges for the shell. 

But alas…Empty. 

The moment is lost. Again.

Here. Then Gone. 


Just like her memories. 





Tuesday, February 22, 2022

What Does Your Sock Drawer Say?

 What Does Your Sock Drawer Say? 

Recently during a Bible Study, I was challenged to think about what my sock drawer looks like, and what that may say about my life, and relationship to God. Such an interesting question that led me to some deep thinking the past few weeks, and some deep cleaning!  

My sock drawer is a real mess! I have so many socks that the drawer is hard to shut and often they spill out. Old socks, new socks, single, lonely socks, warm and fuzzy socks, dress socks, athletic socks, teacher socks, and many more. My first thought was boy I have a sock problem! Ok, what does that say about my life and my relationship with God? I really didn't know. 

A few days later, I had the time and the motivation to tackle that drawer. I started out by organizing the socks by type. That was eye opening itself. The drawer held way too many dress socks and teacher socks. I've been retired now for almost two years. Surely, I didn't need all of these socks anymore. It felt like losing a weight as I whittled that pile down to a few pairs of dress socks and a few of my favorite teacher socks. Retiring during the pandemic and finding my new niche in life has proven more difficult that I had first thought. Lately though, I feel much more positive about my new direction. And moving forward in this next chapter just got a boost by this simple task!

But what about my relationship to God? Am I moving forward in a positive direction? Returning to church since the pandemic has bolstered my faith and given me a feeling of returning home. That has been a good start. I also know that joining the Bible Study and learning with several friends has encouraged me to slow down, listen to others, and share my religious beliefs and personal struggles. It has helped me to look at my relationship with God in new ways. I guess this sock drawer thing is really working. Let's keep going!

I noticed that the socks I had bought recently were so much more colorful than those I'd bought in the past. Colorful hiking socks and bright athletic socks now take up space in my sock drawer. To me that bright color symbolizes my need to be a happy. curious and creative person. I have found new color and a better me through hikes, travels, and my interest in photography. It nudges me to seek out the beauty that I never seemed to have time for before. Yes, color is good! I have been enjoying every moment!

Well this is an easy connection to see! I have never felt closer and more in tune to my relationship to God than when I am out in Nature! I am reminded of God's awesome wonder through the trees, flowers, wildlife, trickling streams and amazing sunsets! Every time that I can enjoy God's miracles, I feel myself relax and able to talk to Him from the heart. Thus developing a stronger and more open relationship than I've ever felt before.

I looked again at my piles. I knew I had to get rid of the old socks; the ones that were dingy, and some with dry rot elastic. Why had I been keeping these when obviously I had plenty of socks and didn't need them? The old, worn out, yet comfy and familiar really needed to go. It can be so hard to get rid of that comfy and familiar. Whether it be clothing, possessions, habits, or routines, our lives may sometimes need us to purge out the old in order to fill our lives with new or better. Getting rid of these would free up space and help me to find the socks I wanted so much easier. I wonder what habits and routines are no longer helpful in my life? Which ones can I get rid of and replace with new?

Sometimes in my relationship with God, I tend to rely on the old and familiar. The same prayers, familiar readings, and yes the relationship of old. But if I am changing as a person, shouldn't my relationship with God be changing as well? I need to free up space in my life in order to create a newer, stronger relationship with God. Maybe now is the time to seek out new prayers, and create a routine to read the Bible as I have been wanting to do for a long time. Maybe this one Bible Study will lead to another.

Finally, those poor single lonely socks in my drawer. They have been waiting, some for a long time, for me to find their mates. I just struggle with getting rid of them. I always hope to find that matching sock. As a teacher, I had a soft spot for kiddos that struggled or didn't fit in. I knew that keeping these socks reflected my passion to never give up on those kiddos. I also knew I wouldn't be able to give up those lonely socks! I took a deep breath and forced myself to cull them down to just a few. A couple of lonely socks that I really liked and ones that I thought I may have seen the other match for recently. 

I struggled with this connection most. To me the obvious was that God might feel lonely when I don't make Him a priority in my life. Am I limiting God when I don't pray often enough, attend Mass, or give Him the true thanks and praises that He deserves? I plan to make God and Faith have a more consistent role in my life. Another connection that I kept leaning towards, was me as the lonely person when I don't fill my life with God. Am I limiting God when I don't share His love through my thoughts, words, and actions? I will find ways to give to others through my talents so that they too can share in the love that is God.

Who knew that a simple inquiry about a sock drawer could lead to a better outlook on life and a renewed relationship with God?! I also now have a really organized drawer... at least for the moment. 

What does your sock drawer say to you?


Monday, May 17, 2021

Thanks, Ruth: A Short Story about My First Turkey

                                            Thanks, Ruth:  A Short Story About My First Turkey


Squeezing out time to go turkey hunting was not what I thought would happen during retirement. Yet here I was with two days available to get a late start to the season. Not only that, but I was getting a late start on the day itself. 

Two days earlier, I had gotten my second Covid shot. The exhaustion and headache hit the following afternoon. I had to concede and tell my husband, Mark, that going up to the farm that night was probably not a good idea. I knew a good night’s sleep was what I needed in order to be able to trounce around the woods. I told him I’d drive up early, well my kind of early, the next day.

When the alarm went off at six, I was still groggy. But mostly, I am not a morning person.  A couple times hitting the snooze, and I crawled out of bed. I had packed nearly everything the night before and even loaded it in the car. Knowing my aversion to morning, this is always the best plan so that I don’t forget something important. I thought I’d be able to get ready and go. As I headed out the door, I looked at my plants that had spent the last two nights in the house because of the unexpected late April freeze. I knew they needed sunshine and the rain that was coming that evening. So running late or not, they were a priority. The birds would have to wait just a bit longer. Nearly twenty trips in and out later, and I was ready to hit the road. 

As I drove through Hermann, nearly to the farm, my phone dinged. Mark wanted to know, “Have you left yet?” After 30 years of marriage, he’s grudgingly accepted my morning aversion. I started to tell Siri to call him back, when my phone dinged again. There was a picture of a nice turkey laying on the tailgate. The incredibly gorgeous morning that I had been admiring on my drive just got a bit brighter. My excitement level went up and the last miles to the farm couldn’t go by quick enough.

I could barely get out of the car before Mark and our friend, Dale, were gushing about the numerous gobbles sounding throughout the valley. The birds had been rather quiet the preceding days. I guess they hadn’t enjoyed the unexpected morning freeze either. Now they were out in full force and letting everyone know.

Mark’s bird was a large gobbler with a 7 inch beard and nice spurs. He recanted each moment of the hunt as I pulled on my coveralls and grabbed my gun and shells. His excitement was catching and I couldn’t wait to get in the woods. The plan was to head out to the same area where he had been successful that morning.

As we crossed the creek into the first field, he gently reminded me to talk quietly. He and our son, Nick are always getting on me about my loud voice in the woods. Of course I just rolled my eyes. But this late morning, I was anxious to get my first turkey. So quiet it would be. I bit my lip and reminded myself to whisper.

Nearing the long field, we both spotted movement. Mark pulled out his binoculars and confirmed the turkey was a male. He motioned for me to follow him and whispered that we would head into the woods and go above and around it. I tried stepping lightly so as not to make much noise. Several times my chair I was carrying got stuck on a shrub or my coveralls were grabbed by thorn bushes. Following Mark through the woods is not easy. I’d learned over the years that he doesn’t take the easiest routes nor does he care how many brambles we encounter. He always warns me, albeit a bit late, about the branch flying back in my direction. But this morning, my excitement of getting to a good spot outweighed my normal aggravation.

Climbing the muddy slope of the creek, I slipped and frantically grabbed the closest tree. I scrambled up and turned to grab my gun back from Mark. As he hauled himself to the top, I heard the putting of turkeys. “Shhhh!” I whispered. "Did you hear that?” Mark paused and we both heard the turkeys putting nearby. He whispered that we’d go a bit further up and around. Part of me wanted to just head to the clearing in front of us. I knew we were making quite a bit of noise, and I wasn’t completely sold on his choice of paths. But I kept my mouth shut and followed behind. 

Finally after climbing up the next hill and then walking halfway back down, Mark told me to set up against the tree in the cover of the small scrub in front. He went downhill and placed the decoy. I looked around. There were great sight lines to the field below and open shooting lanes. I’d have a great shot if turkeys were drawn to us by the decoy or Mark’s calling. 

I adjusted my seat as level as possible. Then dug my left heel in the soft ground to brace myself. I checked the safety and the shells, and laid the gun across my lap. Last year, I had missed a large tom. He had entered the field, but never really stopped to give me a good shot. I had been so anxious that I had rushed it. This year I was determined to not make the same mistake. 

I took a deep breath and tried to just relax and enjoy the quiet and beauty all around. The white dogwoods were in full bloom. Their blossoms bathing in the sun. The gnarled branches of other trees were naked of leaves. The ground was a brown carpet of last year's foilage. A weed, tuft of grass, or moss showed through in spots adding some color to the woods. 

Behind me, Mark tested the surroundings with a few short calls. I yearned to hear a putt or gobble. But nothing answered. I gazed out in the field and the nearby brush for a hint of something. I looked closely at every larger dark shape hoping to see it move. I knew we had probably scared off the birds we had heard earlier. Now the waiting began. Who knew how long we’d have to sit hoping some turkeys  would join us.

I looked around for interesting things to photograph. My camera was in my bag, but we hadn’t been sitting long enough for me to risk the noise and commotion of getting it out. “Patience. Just wait,” I kept telling myself. A flutter in the white dogwood caught my eye. A red bird had landed on a skinny branch. It stood out in stark contrast against the flowers. “Now that’s a cool picture,” I thought.

My next thought though was, “Good Morning, Ruth.” I smiled watching the Cardinal hop to another branch. Dale’s mom, Ruth, had passed away last year. This was our first turkey season without her, and we all missed her dearly. A sense of calm came over me. I truly felt that she was right there. I watched as the bird hung around, jumped to another twig, and then flew off.

I shifted my glance back to the field. My heart jumped! I thought I saw something move. I peered closely at the spot. Then I saw it again. Definitely a turkey! I motioned to Mark and pointed. I whispered, “There’s a turkey across the field.” He made a few short calls. “Yelp, yelp.” I peered closely and realized that there were two birds! At this distance, I couldn’t tell what they were. My heart pounded as I willed them to gobble back, or at least head our way.

The birds kept going in and out of view behind the larger trees skirting the field. I motioned to Mark, “Two birds.” He made a short call, and we waited. They were definitely coming our way. I raised my gun and my right knee to a shooting position. I gazed down the barrel just to check what kind of shot I might have soon. The birds drew closer as they meandered through the field. Finally, they began to climb the hill to my left. Mark started calling again, but I waved at him to stop. 

I wasn’t sure that he was seeing the birds as well as me. I didn’t want them scared off. I also knew that I had but a few seconds to adjust my gun. I needed to move it to the left. I waited until the closest  turkey was behind a tree and shifted. But the bush in front was not giving me a clear shot. I lowered my gun as slowly as possible. I glanced at the birds. I was shocked to see not two, but four young turkeys! 

I repositioned my gun above a small branch. “Please help me get this bird, Ruth,” I thought. The turkeys climbed the hill at a good pace. I watched the one in the lead. As soon as he came from behind a tree, I looked for a beard. There it was! About 4 inches long. I knew it was now or never. I breathed out slowly and aimed the bead on the end of the gun at his head. He paused, glanced my way, and I pulled the trigger. Kaboom! 

As the deafening sound echoed through the woods, the other birds jumped and flew off pounding their wings. The first bird lay flopping on the ground. “I did it!” I yelled! 

Mark jumped up, “Yes!” We high-fived as the bird flopped down the hill aways. “I wasn’t sure you got it when I saw those other ones flying off. But then I saw it flopping on the ground! Good job!” 

“Thanks!” I beamed. Adrenaline rushed through me as we went to check on my turkey. The colors of the feathers shimmered in the sun. I studied the blue and red head and stroked the bristly beard. I checked the short spurs. A young jake, but not too shabby for my first turkey. I couldn’t quit smiling, but neither could Mark. I’m not sure who was more excited! Of course the first thing I asked was, “Where can we take a good picture?”

We gathered up our hunting gear. I took the chair and decoy, so Mark would carry the turkey for me. We walked to the creek and decided to take pictures among the bright mustard yellow flowers. I fanned out the tail, made sure the beard was showing, and beamed. I picked up the turkey to see if I could carry it. Being short, it hung nearly to the ground. Mark snapped a few more pictures as I smiled and whispered, “Thanks, Ruth.”

We headed back to the shed. “It’s pretty cool that we both got one! And I didn’t have to get up as early as you did!” I bragged. Mark just gave me that look that was as good as an eye roll. I was eager to share my prize with Dale. One of the first things I told him was how I had seen the Cardinal and thought about his mom. I shared that I had hoped somehow she’d help me get my first bird. Dale’s not normally a person of few words, so when he didn’t say much, I knew it must have touched him.

We took more photos with the rustic gray barn in the background. A few husband and wife photos as well proudly displaying our birds. In the past, Ruth would have happily joined us for photos. Many of those hung in the shed showing her joy of a successful hunt; especially for the girls. This time, Dale joined us in the pictures. We wanted to continue that tradition.

My day was complete when I received texts from my kids. “Whooo, Congrats, Mom!!” “Way to go mom!!” and “So cool! What a fun day!” Yes, it was a fun day! I’m always thankful for every opportunity to enjoy nature, and share these special moments with family and friends. Thanks again, Ruth.





Wednesday, December 16, 2020

 Where Do We Go From Here?

     This morning, I came across a video about Erin Gruwell, a teacher in an inner city school that used reading and writing to change the lives of her students. According to Library Journal, Gruwell was a first-year high school teacher "teaching the 'unteachables'" After reading, Anne Frank, "students were inspired to start keeping diaries of their lives that showed the violence, homelessness, racism, illness, and abuse that surrounded them." Their experience is detailed in the book, "The Freedom Writers Diary" and was a made into a feature film and public television documentary. My first thought was, "How had I missed this? This sounds amazing!"

     Later I got to thinking about other videos, stories, and such that have taught us about teachers, counselors, coaches, and individuals that do wonderful things to change the lives of kids and adults. Strategies that actually work. 

  • Rodney Robinson - a teacher who developed a social studies curriculum centering on the national prison system, especially juvenile justice.
  • Jahana Hayes - an educator/congresswoman who feels that more voices are needed from teachers to help shape government and educational policies.
  • Chuck Hatfield - a coach who "builds a unique relationship with everyone because he works hard to understand who they are."
  • Lou Holtz - a coach who inspired players with a simple sign, "Play Like a Champion".
     Search inspirational teachers, coaches, business people, or whoever, and a plethora of stories are at your fingertips. 
But where are those strategies and lessons? Why are they not commonplace so that more people can benefit? Why are they not a part of everyday learning? Wouldn't these ideas help change our society?

     With my experience in education, I know that what works for one child, doesn't work for another. Education, or rather Learning is not one size fits all. There are many fabulous programs out there that reach students and help them grow to be productive adults. Schools do successfully teach and inspire kids every day. Educators make a huge difference in countless lives. Regular, everyday teachers that are not always recognized publicly like those mentioned. 

     So I guess the real question is, "Where is the breakdown?" Why do we have so much crime, abuse, murder, civil unrest? Why are there so many homeless? This year, 2020, the Coronavirus, has not helped this situation one bit. Families are struggling, businesses are struggling, schools are struggling, so all of this means that our kids are struggling. For our world, things may very well get worse before they get better. Where do we start? What can we do to help?

     Most people don't wake up and decide to become a criminal, an abuser, or homeless. Somewhere along the way, kids experience trauma that later affects their life choices. Maybe each of us needs to start recognizing what is happening to our kids, our future. The strategies, lessons, inspiration are out there. Intervention needs to occur now. Start small. Open a door for someone, be kind, speak nicely, offer a hand, pray. If you have the means, donate. Donate your time, money, services. Be the example that others need to see. Ask, what can I do? You may not think that you can make a difference, but if you can even make a moment of a difference in someone's life, you have done something that matters. "Be the Change that You Wish to See in the World."


 

Friday, July 24, 2020

I Really Don't Know What to Think. Do You?


I Really Don't Know What to Think. Do You?

     Whatever your opinion may be on the health and societal issues we face today, you can find information to support that opinion. This is one of the key points that I tried to get across when teaching persuasive writing to my fourth grade students. Whether they were looking for the pros or cons of drinking chocolate milk, using phones in classrooms, or choosing a good pet, they were able to find facts to prove their viewpoint. But understanding where those facts came from, and how those facts were used in an article, was an important part of their learning. Quite difficult for 9 and 10 year olds to comprehend, but most got it.
     Now more than ever, as adults, we have opinionated writing shoved in our faces no matter what media we read. Added to that are the comments with opinionated facts that then confuse us even more. Since COVID began, it seems like articles, memes, news reports and conversations have multiplied as fast as the virus itself. By opening social media, we are bombarded by so many different opinions and facts, that it is very difficult to figure out what is the real truth. You've probably seen the same things that I have: one article supports research for wearing masks, and another disputes those same facts and provides facts that make you think twice. Turning on the TV, doesn't help either. It seems that we even have to listen to news reports with caution. Just google, "What is the best real news?" In black and white it states that our news is usually biased, censored, and non-credible. It is sad to think that in this technological day and age, that we must look for the best information from which to draw our own conclusions. Why is society doing this to us? Why are we doing this to each other? 
     Heading into this political year, evidence of bias has already hit. The negative ads in mailboxes and on TV are a prime source. The absolute waste of money and paper to smear competitors has become so common place. Why don't we demand that the candidates give us their thoughts on the true issues that face us today? We need facts to choose government leaders that are going to help move our country towards a safe and peaceful future. We need our leaders to stand for the beliefs that were set forth in the Preamble to the Constitution. We need to educate ourselves so that we can make good choices when we choose our local, state, and federal leaders.
     Trying to figure out the factual pieces of the information, and realizing where those facts came from are detrimental to our health, economy, and future of our country. We must become logical thinkers, and true problem solvers. We need to think for ourselves, and stop letting others shove their opinions in our faces. One of the first things to do is read articles and news with a level-head and calm purpose. Wait a moment to think about the information before sharing or commenting. Being impulsive often makes things worse. Read several sources and seek out the facts and data before forming your own conclusions.
     Second, try and take a step away from the social media and news. Have you ever told a child to just ignore or walk away from someone who is bothering them? When we don't give someone the reaction they are looking for, they tend to stop. Don't feed into the biased and "fake" news. Impulsive reactions tend to steamroll and create more power for others to continue putting their opinionated ideas out there. 
     Finally, we need to all realize that we are ultimately responsible for ourselves, our actions, and our words. How we react to opinions, ideas, and facts is up to us. With COVID, we're asked to wash our hands, social distance in public, and wear a mask. We may not know the effects of this virus on the health of our society, the strength or our economy, and the social, emotional, and educational well being of our kids for years to come. One day in the future, a student may choose "Wearing a Mask During the Covid Pandemic" as their topic for persuasive writing. The abundance of opinionated writing will be overwhelming. I wonder what the real facts will show us? Did we, did our leaders, listen to the facts and do the right thing?
     
     

Sunday, June 14, 2020

Nature Beckons

Time and time again, I put pen to paper to try and describe the wonder of a spring morning. I hope these simple phrases urge you to seek some moments of peace outside.  I pray that during this unsettled year of our lives that you have been able to enjoy Nature. 
As my Great Aunt recently told me,"People don't take the time to see what's in their own backyard." 
Take the time. Notice. It will be an experience you won't regret.

Nature Beckons

    Every new day, the Earth is alive and beckoning for us to notice. When will you stop to see, hear, smell, and feel the miracles it has to share?

    The dew drops glistening as the sun creeps over the hillside.

    The birds welcoming the new morn with song.

    A squirrel pawing the ground as it searches for an acorn it hid in the fall.

    A spider laying in wait on its intricately designed web.

    The wind rustling through the trees blowing the leaves to and fro.

    A baby fox shyly poking its head out waiting for mama to return.

    A lizard scurrying up a tree and peeking out from his perch.

    A bird swooping down to grasp a twig; carrying it back to its nest.

    The Maple seeds losing their grip and fluttering to the earthy soil.

    The water rushing in the creek that twists its way through the woods.
    
    The yellow finches darting about in a game of chase.

    The trees bursting with fragrant blooms of pink, white, and purple.

    The shadows creeping off to bed as the sun pushes over the land.

    When will you stop to see, hear, smell, and feel what Earth beckons to share? Take the time to notice the miracles it brings alive each new day.